Wonderful, funny list of break-up lines grounded in different philosophical schools.
The Teleologist: We aren’t meant for each other.
The Deontologist: We aren’t right for each other.
The Consequentialist: We aren’t optimal for each other.
The Solipsist: It’s not you, it’s me.
The Empiricist: I think we should see other people.
The Rationalist: I’m not a priority to you any more.
The Rationalist, v 2.0: I’ve been doing some thinking…
The Rationalist, v. 3.0: If you can’t see your faults, there’s nothing more I can say.
The Content Externalist: Ever since we moved, you’ve changed.
Ah memories of my grade school and high school days. Browse through the list. It’s amusing to see lines that you may or may not have used. There’s still time you know, you can still use most of the lines today with present faltering relationships.